Hummer

First 2 Chapters of My Book?

My plot is very confusing here is my first 2 chapters U don't have to read it all Chapter 1:Déjà Vu It was a beautiful night in New York. As usual everyone is out. Nonstop parties are taking place at every street and every corner. I ,of course, was at a party with GenCo. GenCo is a science corporation that deals with viruses, diseases, and any current medical discovery. Every day new projects are funded to help cure these diseases. So as usual, every new success comes with an outrageous party. You would think It’d be fun going to parties and clubs every month, but truthfully it’s a pain in the ass. You're seeing the same people, and pretending that you actually like their opinions. And all these major executives blabbing about their financial accomplishments. I could tell you one thing, keep up the spending, until one major failure puts a giant hole in your wallet. There was music playing, people dancing and the night felt alive. It seemed as a perfect night to be out. But, then again, I’m not always right. I remember this night still today, their were many feelings going through my mind. I felt fear, excitement and accomplishment. That night, three terrorists stole a Hummer from the New York secret headquarters of the U.S. Army. The men were undercover Japanese terrorists who have been wanted criminals for years. They loaded up on weapons and ammunition and started to drive through the city, rapidly shooting their guns. Many civilians ran into buildings searching for protection. The club I was in was four blocks east of the incidents. As they approached the club one of the men aimed a bazooka at the club. Unaware of the incidents, the party goers, as well as I, kept occupied with our own business. Then the terrorist shot the bazooka rocket through the front door of the building. There was a giant explosion on stage and the speakers, instruments, and tables caught on fire. A flame of heat burned my face and I fell down beneath a table next to a young girl. She was burned on her ears and left cheek, and was screaming in terror. My whole body was now wounded and my arms and legs were weak. My mind was delusional and interpreted the room to be spinning. My arms were able to reach my cell-phone, so I called my lab and requested Treevine to send down the rest of the creatures for battle. The Hummer was a couple blocks south now and just before they got to a bank one creature, Rocket, busted out of the ground spewing gravel everywhere. His head busted the windshield sending the truck flying backwards. The Hummer flipped back and the tank exploded. Two of the terrorists crawled out and fired a couple of shots. They were limping towards the bank and kicked open the doors. The terrorists split up. One went to the back to unlock the main safe. He opened up his backpack to get a hearing implement. This allowed him to hear the code vibrations. He cracked open the safe and quickly packed $100 dollar bills into duffle bags. The other terrorist started lining up hostages by the front door, where he planted a bomb. If anyone were to enter the building through the main doors the hostages would be killed. I, at that time, got a call from Treevine. “ Dr. Mansing are you there?” “ Yes, Treevine; are you prepared for battle?” “ Mostly.” “ I thought you were fully prepared. Ugh! I guess Loraine hadn’t faxed you the information?” “ Well, were fixing up some Paraquads and we’ll be heading to New York in about fifteen minutes. Is there anything unusual we are not aware of?” “ Yes, actually there are two Japanese terrorists who have captured innocent civilians inside a bank. Do not enter through the front door or else you will set off a bomb killing the hostages.” “ Alright, I will send Junglebeast and Hawk to evacuate all women and children. We will scout men who are able to fight the terrorists.” “ Do you have enough weapons and armor to distribute the men.” “ I’m not sure, we have some flamethrowers, Bloodrush Shotguns, and Slicer assault rifles. “ Alright, great, send the creatures down immediately!” Once the weapons were delivered, the mission was a go. Junglebeast and Hawk climbed up the south side of the building and set up their equipment on the roof. “ Hey, put your nails to work and cut a hole so we can get down there! “ Hold on, I’ve got to load all the guns with ammo!" After Hawk had finished setting up all the guns and , he cut a giant hole through the roof. He then grabbed the excess wood he cut out with his legs. He threw it at a passing terrorist knocking him on his head. The other terrorist started shooting the air to intimidate the hostages. Then, Hawk and Junglebeast jumped down through the hole and took nearby cover. “ Hello is anyone there? Leave now or the hostages go!” The hostages were taped around their hands and mouth. There eyes were staring in blank sight, nervous, and bloodshot. Junglebeast, filled with guilt and rage, actually this is just the beginning I had over 15,00 extra words lol actually this is just the beginning I had over 15,000 extra words lol

Public Comments

1. Okay, I was a bit confused with the point of view. Who is the narrator exactly and how does he know what's going on outside of his knowledge? Just try to make that clear. I like the plot you've got going though =]] check mine out? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiKZMmxBoutk4KvCAYPNNGrsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090214184824AAZyPN6